I am..She Said- Sorry, Neil Diamond

I am diving deeper today. I made decisions that I know are the beginning of a new chapter. I am clutching and crushing the hands of the 14-year-old girl who dreamed these dreams and asking her for strength. I feel scared. I feel excited. I feel vulnerable. I feel invincible. My heart feels like it wants to cower behind my brain and wants to beat its drums in resolution at the same time. The sad reality? I feel alive but also wait for the other shoe to drop. Am I too happy to be practical? Is this a scam? Is this a  rose-tinted window? I am waiting for something to go wrong. For something to prove to me that this can't be real. That these steps were wrong. Here is what I find helpful when doubt stands over hope like a judge accusing a victim of a crime without hearing his/her story. Before the gavel sounds, reduce the brightness.  Find your calm. Understand why you're doing this. Is it a step towards or a step away? Don't be hopeful, don't be hopeless. Find the mid-groun...

My heart breathes as the day ends, She knows she doesn't need to run after deadlines or messages or becoming someone to fill the void they left behind She could just be for a few hours before the pumpkin turns into a carriage that will take her to the grand ball once again The Grand Ball where she must wear the heaviest of dresses and paper crowns to show the world she matters She looks for her reflection.. Is she the lights moving past, just a flicker in this life? Is she the red lights, holding herself back? Or is she the setting sun, painting this blue world pink and orange for a few minutes with her will to just...live? To live and just live. To walk, because she can. To breathe, because she can. To smile because she can. Or will none of the shoes fit her? Will she forever run barefoot on the coal yearning for warmth and hiding from the chimes of midnight as she chases it?

'Change is constant' is often said with a very defeating attitude, suggesting that it is inevitable and we need to make our peace with it. I recently started enjoying being in two phases of my life at once. One foot in the old life, the second reaching out towards a new one. I've found a new appreciation for the old one and excitement for the new one. It's helped me reflect on what is and understand what needs to be. Whether it's changing a job, leaving a job, making a personal change, looking for a new milestone or simply changing your cereal brand; I hope you enjoy the middle ground, where you're neither here nor there but floating in a sea of possibilities. "If you can wait and not be tired by waiting" -If, Rudyard Kipling

I woke up this morning floating in a glass half full and half empty wondering if I'd fly or drown. I dragged myself out of bed, checked my email (let the Women's Day offers keep coming!), killed a cockroach that was walking right towards me (after having an internal debate of 'how different am I if I just kill whatever scares me'), tripped on my shoelaces and somehow got out the door alive (cockroaches kill nearly 3000 people per year or am I being dramatic?). I walked my usual path while trying to find a balance between being grateful and striving for more than I have. I leisurely walked past people rushing to work, running (I only run when I'm being chased or chasing a food truck), going to yoga, playing with their kids and having a staring contest with their phone screens. In the midst of all the ordinary and daydreaming about singing on stage with Rihanna, I came across a Talabat delivery man feeding the birds his breakfast/dinner. (Please excuse my photography ...

Last week, I rewatched and re-read every Sherlock Holmes movie/book/series. Safe to say, I am now meandering around with an observatory air, deduction technique notes (I now believe the man who wears a red shirt while jogging every day has a broken washing machine) and a magnifying glass in my pocket (which I surprisingly haven't broken yet). I decided to take a break from counting tiles, steps, plants and hats to count the number of people I saw in a day instead. I was surprised by the number of workers in that ratio. Garbage pickers, cleaners, gardeners, delivery riders, shop assistants and construction workers. They all wore one uniform and as a result, blurred into one being. So I'm making an effort to ensure I differentiate, acknowledge and appreciate them more often. Hand them a bottle of water or just exchange a kind word. It makes all the difference to you and them.

The first productive thing I did yesterday was chase my bright red cap across the street at 7 am in the morning. Clearly, someone up there has a sense of humour since a week back I wrote very strongly about not running unless I'm being chased or chasing something (I have now exhausted my running quota for this year. If you see someone walking in the next Dubai Run, come over and say hi). Back to the chasing. After a minute of chasing, I finally retrieved it from the middle of the road while the onlookers waiting at the signal stared at me like a clown who had escaped a circus. I had a good laugh about it a few seconds later. The winds were bent on scooping us up yesterday. We were all walking around with electrocuted hair and flying bags. I saw people getting out of the office at 2 pm instead of 5 pm because the weather was good, I saw more dogs in parks, and more people sitting on benches without their phones (possibly because they were afraid of testing the device's durabilit...